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When I was in high school, I was a huge band geek.  Like HUGE.  I played alto sax and was in color guard during marching band.  I wore a ton of make-up and glitter and did ridiculous things to my hair, all for the sake of our field show.  It ended up looking a lot like this:

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I spent 5 years of my life (I helped the band my 8th grade year as well) dedicated to having zero social life.  There were evening practices every day in class plus two nights a week, parades, football games every Friday, and competitions every Saturday in October.

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Today is my little brother’s last competition ever.  He graduates this year and I will be out of excuses to make myself part of the band.  This thing that I have been centered around for 8 years now is just going to be gone.  Already, when I go back to visit, I don’t recognize any of the faces that are attached to the band uniforms.  It makes me miss the days when I would walk into the band room, know every person and be greeted by a chorus of hellos.

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I didn’t do band in college and I deeply regret it.  Today, I don’t play my instrument because I am so insecure about how much my skills have surely degraded.  My fear of failure keeps me from playing and my lack of playing only continues the downward spiral.  One day, I will play again and I will re-hone my skills.  But for today, I will live through my brother and enjoy what could be my last band competition.

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